The F**k conundrum
It has been about 2-3 weeks since my little son (he’s 22 months old as I write this) started repeating the words that we commonly use at home (that includes Tamil, Telugu, and English words). I really think he knows what most of these words mean as well. For instance, he just came to me when I was penning down this story, closed his eyes, and said “kaanum” (meaning ‘missing’, or ‘lost’ in tamil). It’s really cute that he does such things. Both my wife and I are really excited to watch him grow (although we’d love to see him slow down a little).
About three days ago, when I came back from work, I asked him if we’d like to go out, and urged him to wear his shoes. And then, he said the most weird thing – “F**k!”. I was really shocked. It has been over a year since I have been actively controlling my urge to swear, and the F word was not one of those words I used too often. I was really worried when and how he heard that word. With a million thoughts and worries raging through my head, I asked my wife if he heard our son say what he just said. She had not, and I had to do it all over again. I kneeled down this time, and looked at him, and asked him if he’d like to go out and wanted to wear his shoes. And like the last time, the F word came rolling out of his tongue. Unlike the last time however, my wife heard him loud and clear this time. We were both completely puzzled, and thought something was off.
Over the course of the next few hours in the park, both of us tried to guess how he may have heard the word. We were quick to cross each other out of the list of prime suspects. As concerned parents, we had to really think about the other kids he played with, the maid who we newly recruited, the security guards, the people in the parking lot, and a whole lot of others. Having reached no conclusion however, we decided to play a little longer with him and go home. It was really time to call it a day.
When I lifted our kid to take him home, at that moment, the answer to our conundrum presented itself. He began screaming, “F**k, f**k, f**K”. Guess what, he was trying to say ‘park’, and the ‘pa’ sound was still getting generated in his voice box. And hence, the familiar ‘fa’ replaced it. Oh god were we relieved to know that our innocent son was not hurt, and more relieved that we were not going to have to live the rest of our duration in this apartment complex suspecting everyone around us. My wife and I had a hearty laugh, and we have been laughing about it ever since.
